Conversations with my 7 Year old

Today was one of those days that I couldn't stop laughing at the things Zac was saying. It started this morning at breakfast. Yesterday the groceries were delivered and he finally got his favorite cereal called Lion. He asked his mom specifically for it, so he was really excited to have it. This is how the conversation went:

me: Wow, you haven't had that cereal in so long Zac!
Zac: ...in so long time, Connie. Not "so long".
me: Zac my native tongue is English. It's "...in so long" or "...in such a long time."
Zac: Connie you do not speak English.
me: What?
Zac: You understand nothing! People from England speak English.
me: Zac, I speak English. If you don't think I do, then what language do I speak?
Zac: Oh my gosh (he got this from me of course), you speak American.

I will spare you all the details, but he refused to believe me. His mother came over and said that England English has a few different words than us, but it's the same language. He said "I told you so!" thinking that this proved his point.

In the meantime, Barth came to the table to eat. He was able to join in on the second conversation.

Zac: Connie, guess where in America, French is spoken?
me: It's not spoken in America.
Zac: Yes it is. You understand nothing!
me: Then where Zac?
Zac: In Canada they speak French.
me: Canada is not in America.
Zac: Oh my gosh. You are from America and you do not know that Canada is in your country?
me: Zac, they are in our continent, North America.

At this point, Barth's eyes are huge because of the hilarity of his brother's confidence. Zac has a beloved Atlas that he reads each night, so we went to grab that and tried to explain the difference between American and North America. He never understood. I told him that he is never allowed to call it America again, only The United States. This is just so he doesn't get confused anymore. He can do advanced mathematics, but can't grasp this language and geography lesson.

Then we were walking to school. I try to make him laugh as much as possible. I always tell him that I love him and he replies that he loves me more. I said that if it's true that he would have to tell his friends "I'm in love and I don't care who knows!" I try to quote Elf as much as possible as it's his favorite movie. Afterwards he went on to say that he loved me very much. That was until about seven minutes later when we hopped on the metro and saw Emma. She is his dream girl. He's liked her for over a year now, but I can't get him to talk to her. Well when we hopped on today, he bumped into her and said "Oh, salut Emma!" She smiled and then looked at her mom and smiled. Zac turned red. I began giving him a hard time and playing with his hair and making him punch himself with his own fists. But, we got her attention and I am pretty sure she thinks he's funny. When we got off the metro I asked him if his heart was beating fast when he saw her. He said "No Connie, but I think she is very pretty." As we walked up to the school I asked if he still loved me. He said "Yes, but you have to share my heart with Emma." I exaggerated of course and asked how much of it she had and how much of it I had. He said we had equal parts. I flipped out and caused a scene. He giggled and said "Shhhh, okay you have just a little bit more than her! Okay? Now go, Rafael is coming." He kills me.

His new word for trashcan is "dish" and I have no idea why.

We went to Decathlon (the Academy/Oshman's of France) to get Verena a bathing suit. She tried it on and walked out to show us. Zac said, "Ooh la la Verena".

There were more, but I forgot to write them down. It was just one of those days.